I am nervous.
I have three separate FB interviews coming up in about a month.
I had a phone call that went well with a company with whom I could work remotely, but have not heard anything from them since the phone call. Anyway, I don’t know that I want to leave my current job in a hurry. I feel like there are quite a few reigns that need to be handed off if this company is going to keep running after I leave.
How to regain a sense of calm? Probably organize. Organize everything. Every drawer, every shelf, every basket, box, bin. Everywhere there is clutter. And I think it’s a projection of my internal life.
Maybe this isn’t the best place to share this information, but I figure nobody will ever read this. If you do, email me misshecht@gmail.com – I would love to know.
In my personal life I don’t know what I am doing. I moved back in with my ex because I missed his kids terribly. But when I moved in, the children moved out! Apparently for reasons unrelated to me, but it doesn’t really feel that way. They kept saying how much they missed me and wanted me to move back in. And so I did. And now it’s just me and him and the dog and my cat. And his fish tank.
True I do work most of the time, so I don’t spend a whole lot of time at home. But the time that I am there, I feel like I am constantly having to explain myself, what I’m doing, what I’m thinking about. This is not where I want to be.
Being alone, though, is a whole other animal. Though it’s not so bad with my cat. She is my world. I love her fiercely.
Other things on my mind:
- I have three storage units. They are pretty cheap, so I don’t feel badly about renting them. But I do have so much stuff. And why? I think I intended to sell most of it, each item as I obtained it, “Oh, this is worth way more than the cost! I should buy it so I can sell it…” but then selling never happens. I ran into an ex coworker there yesterday. She has the same problem. She always told herself that she would sell the stuff when she has the time. Now that she is retired, she realizes that no having the time was never the problem.